Don’t worry: Nothing matters. And that’s good. Now you can get on with things you actually enjoy.
Picture a parent. A good parent. Not a “perfect” parent, like the weird glassy-eyed people who live in Martha Stewart zombie universes. A real parent. More of a Louis CK kind of parent than a Michele Obama kind of parent. But a good parent nevertheless. Now imagine you ask this good parent about what it’s […]
Last night I ate chicken sashimi. Yes, that’s raw chicken breast. Which is normally an insane thing to do. Unless you’re in Tokyo with a Japanese host, in a restaurant with no English where chefs are diligently fanning real charcoal with bamboo fans. Where their chicken livers were probably still squawking 6 hours ago. After you’ve […]
“My skull is dissolving,” I say. My voice quivers. The woman with me has to lean in closer to hear it. “Dissolving?” “Yes. Dissolving. My face is caving in. Crumbling. Like sand.” I pause. “Oh my god, my whole face is caving in!” I am panicking now. My heart pounds. This is raw feeling. Pure instinct. […]
Having passed through the abundant harvest of my juicy, fruitful celebration of 40, I’m now freezing at the threshold of the dark winter of Coming To Terms With Aging. I never expected this. I always thought I’d sail through this part, barely stepping on the universe’s Life Change Lintel as I breezed through the portal into midlife.
If you lost everything in the apocalypse, how might you end up freer? What would be in the boxes that would be jettisoned? What imaginary authority figure or judge would catch fire and be destroyed? What bullshit could YOU throw out in 2013 to free up some mental health, and why?
The first rule of fast club is: Don’t talk about fast club. The second rule of fast club is that skinny guys no longer get to tell me what to do. (Although I love you guys. You look so cute with your pants falling down!)
The late 30s and 40s are a time of great power for women. Declining hormones tear veils away from our eyes. It is the beginning of when we learn to get over the crap we’ve been spoon-fed, to feel some rumbling righteous anger, and start loving ourselves.
Judge me, assholes. Judge the hell out of me. Let me know when you’re done. Because I have other business in this world.