A for effort, F for execution

Speaking of 40% body fat, one college is attempting — in probably the most ham-fisted way possible, no pun intended — to address the problem of obesity. Not surprisingly, people aren’t very thrilled about it.

I salute the well-meaning nature of this, but it’s just about the worst mode of implementation I’ve ever seen. Are they going to force slutty girls to take birth control pills? Slobby dressers to be attacked by those horrible What Not To Wear harpies? What about the skinny students? Should they have to drink Weight Gainer 2000 until they put on some damn pecs already?

Surely this enlightened college also forces its out-of-shape faculty to exercise, and fills the cafeterias with healthy home-made foods not produced by a large consortium, and has a community garden for university members to grow fresh produce, and provides abundant bike and walking trails, and encourages people to cycle to work by providing showers and bike racks… right? Right?

And PS: aerobics? Come on guys, way to pick the worst training mode for bigger people. At least get people lifting some weights. Now that’s a draconian invasive measure I’d like to see. I, for one, welcome our squatting overlords.